You've seen her on our feed, you've seen her collection, and now here she is - meet Ashley F., collaborator of the inspirational Authentic Ambition Collection!
When Lilac Market Headbands was just starting to gain traction, owner Kelsey prayed that somehow she'd be able to reach people who would benefit the most from her headbands. Just a few weeks later that prayer was answered by Ashley, who reaches thousands in her community through her positive voice on social media. Today, you'll hear about her personal path to finding true self-love, her totally real perspective on WW and social media, and of course how she found Lilac Market.
Let's get into it, Ashley: where are you from, what you do, and how did you find Lilac Market?
I'm a California girl who moved to Missouri and never left. While my day job is in finance, most know me for my social media side hustle. I first found Lilac Market Headbands at a local boutique, and they were so cute, I figured I’d give one more shot to finding a headband that wouldn't fall right off my large dome, starting with the classic Black and Leopard prints (which should be in every starter collection!). I put it on in the parking lot at the shop, went to dinner after, and was shocked that it never moved once. When we got back to the house later, I hadn’t even made it out of the driveway before I made an Instagram Story telling everyone how amazing these headbands were. It wasn't long before I reached out to Kelsey and asked if I could somehow be a part of this awesome business. The rest is history!
You're known for your incredible health journey with WW, formerly known as Weight Watchers. How did that start?
For the umpteenth time in my life, in 2017 I was sitting there feeling miserable in my body, and my father had recently passed away. During that grieving process, as I was looking through old pictures of he and I together, I noticed there were no photos of me as an adult. I looked at more recent photos with my family, and I didn't even have pictures with my own daughters. I thought, "If I’m supposed to be in these pictures, I have to feel better about myself." I even prayed, "God, if I’m supposed to feel better about myself, send me a sign on how I’m supposed to do this."
That same week, I had three clients who had all lost weight through WW. That weekend, I went to my first meeting. Although I did lose 40 pounds and hit my goal weight, the road to getting truly healthy had just begun. As I started focusing more on overall wellness after the weight loss, I was still paying attention to the scale. Seeing the numbers start to climb again once I began lifting weights totally warped me. My coach at the time really helped me transition my mindset, changing my fear of the scale to an understanding that gaining weight through building muscle wasn't scary, and actually helped me do more activities I love. Going from barely being able to lift a barbell to lifting 100 lbs after training is an amazing feeling!
What has WW done for you?
Health is no longer about how I look, but how I feel. I let go of trying to obsessively be in control. I went from taking a picture of my calorie burn count on my FitBit after every workout to now only using it to check my text messages. In a nutshell, WW saved my life. It gets down to the nitty-gritty mental lessons, like if you surround yourself with a negative community, you'll become negative. Self-love is an avalanche of good. That message still sticks with me.
How are you navigating the recent changes with WW, and what’s something you want new members to know?
The program has definitely evolved, but it still works. I was lucky to be a part of the Ambassador program at the time, and I will always cherish that. But it was a title, not a persona. I am Ashley, not the WW Ambassador.
One thing I would tell new members is that most of the time, you’re going to eat more than your daily allotted points. You need more points as you start to transition beyond the goal weight into maintenance; don't be fearful of going outside the guidelines while you're doing the work. This journey is meant to be slower. Take it from me: I lost 45 pounds from March to November, then just 10 more between October and December. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
What was the vision behind the Authentic Ambition Collection?
Once I calmed down after the excitement of having my very own collection, I wanted the prints to be about self-empowerment. When you look at yourself with the "Yes You Can" headband, you know you can do it. The heart rhythm that you see on the "Live" and "Word to the Wise" prints represent the heartbeat of your life; there's ups and downs, and if you’re flat, you’re dead. I even have a tattoo of it. I also wanted the phrases to give you confidence. "My Mantra" resonates with me because even if I'm going through some tough crap, I can put something good out into the world and it comes back to me. And just like the "Live for You" print says, do it for you because you're worth it, not for anyone else. All of that is authentic body positivity.
Where does your own radiant positivity come from, Ashley?
This Ashley hasn’t always been here, trust me. I was miserable for so long. The more I sat in it, the worse my attitude was towards everyone. Even a year after I hit my "goal weight", the mental weight was still very heavy. But once I started doing the mental and emotional work for my well-being, others noticed I was happier. I knew I had it in me to find real happiness with myself because I'd already proven to myself I could do hard things. I make the choice daily to change my mindset, and it's paid off.
What sort of feedback have you gotten since the collection launched?
One woman told me that she was in a cycling class that was really hard, and she didn't think she could do it. But she had her "Yes You Can" headband on, and kept focusing on it in the mirror. She was able to finish the workout strong because it was a reminder that she was totally capable, she just had to push through and prove it to herself. I've had countless stories just like that come into my inbox since the release.
The word “influencer” can have a negative connotation. What's a healthy way to use social platforms?
I prefer the word "encourager" or "motivator" for myself. We think of big stars when we say "influencer" because people automatically associate it with money. We’re surrounded by product peddlars, where every Instagram Story is a swipe up. I use those, but I’m also the pickiest person when it comes to brands. I won’t talk about a product unless I've had a chance to use it. Anyone can say “I love this thing, here’s my code", but I would never share something that didn't totally effect me in a positive way. I want to make sure the product encourages or motivates you, too.
You LOVE Peloton! How did you fall in love with it and what’s your favorite workout?
It started with the pandemic when I wasn't able to go to the gym. I was having a hard time doing at-home workouts because we were building a house and moving, and then I actually got COVID-19 from the gym. It seemed to be right in my face, and my Peloton friends kept singing its praises. Now there's so many things I don't have to worry about: the commute, the wear and tear on my car, my personal time, the cost. And as a bonus, my girls get to see me work for my wellness, and they want to do it with me, too. It's been an unexpected way of showing them that working out and staying healthy can be fun, and that their Mom is strong. When I was growing up, working out was always a punishment for my own mother. Now, even she enjoys doing the workouts with us when she wants to! It sets me up for a good mindset for my day. That's what working out is really about, getting to a good place in mind and body. Even without the bike, I still love Peloton! Most of my days are strength days, and then shorter stints of cardio on the bike. I used to avoid lifting weights because I was told to be smaller, as a lot of women are. Not anymore. I lift weights because I’m meant to take up the space. I also love someone else leading a class, I don’t have to always be thinking about what’s next. The music is amazing, and a good playlist will get me going.
My favorite strength instructor is Adrian Williams. Each one offers something different; if you want to dance, sing and play, ride with Cody. If you want to be pushed and think, ride with Alex. If you want to die in the best way, go to Kendall. There’s somebody there and something fresh for everyone.
Finally, what's one piece of advice you would give to others who are on their own journey to wellness?
Start working on the internal mental work as soon as you're ready. Once you start, the physical will fall into place. If you think losing the weight is hard, try living in maintenance if something is still standing in your way mentally. That’s the real beast. Anybody can lose weight, but if you don’t fix the root of the problem, for me that's emotional eating, then you’ll be in the hamster wheel. That's no way to live. It’s not about the weight you lose, but the life you gain!
Have you gotten one of Ashley's prints from the Authentic Ambition Collection yet? Show us your positivity by using the tag #lilacmarketheadbandsblog on social media with yours!
Go follow Ashley at @theashleyaf on Instagram or Facebook.
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- Authentic Ambition Collection
- Body positivity
- Ashley F.
- Weight Watchers
- Lilac Market Headbands